Having a crush on somebody and falling in love with them can be two very different experiences. When one of these feelings happens to you, it may feel like the same thing, but in reality, they could not be more different.
Crush vs Love – What’s the Difference? Having an attraction towards someone is called a ‘crush,’ and falling head over heels in love with them is known as ‘love.’ Both feelings are completely normal, but they differ in how they make you feel, behave, and what happens next. You must understand the key differences between a crush and love so that you may proceed in the best way possible.
Fortunately, you can see the following important distinctions between crush vs. love and decide for yourself which one you’ve got.
Table of Contents
What is Crush?
Did you ever like anyone because they liked something you did? Or maybe you liked them because they were friends with your friend. Maybe you liked them because they had a similar interest or looked like you.
Most importantly, you liked them because of their physical appearance. All these points are signs of you having a crush on them.
Definition: A crush is a short, intense feeling of admiration towards another person that is often short-lived, unlike love.
What is love?
Love is a much deeper & emotional form of connection that takes time to develop and is often long-lived.
When do you know that you have found your love?
When you can talk with someone who knows your heart better than you do yourself, you’ve found someone you’ll fall in love with. And when you can share your deepest feelings and secrets with someone, then you’ll find out how much they really care about you.
Definition: Love is a feeling that arises when two individuals connect emotionally and share positive feelings for each other. The word “love” comes from Latin lubere meaning “to be fond of.” When you feel loved, you feel safe, secure, and comfortable.
Fundamental differences between Crush and Love:
How Long Did It Take to Develop Feelings?
One of the easiest ways to know if it’s a crush or a love is to notice the time required to form the feeling. Crushes form quickly and also fade away quickly within months. They are also sometimes called “love at first sight.” You meet someone, and you’re instantly attracted to them.
Love, on the other side, is the much deeper connection of emotions based on mutual respect and shared values. Once you have developed the feeling of love, care, and affection towards the other person, it stays for a very long time. You cannot let go of the feeling of love easily, even if you want to.
Do you feel Jealous or insecure?
The feeling of jealousy or insecurity is a sure sign of a crush. It is rooted in the mistrust that you have for the other person. Jealousy & insecurity, as it is said, comes from a lack of confidence in yourself and others around you.
On the other hand, love is a purely emotional state built on trust and respect. And since you trust your partner completely, there is no question of jealousy. You are less prone to irrational thoughts and concerns because your feelings are deeper and genuine; therefore, you won’t feel insecure.
Do you have to cancel your plans due to them?
Do you feel pressured to cancel your plans in other to be available for your crush or love (whatever you call it)? If this is your case, then these are sure signs of crush. This feeling arises due to FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).
You don’t want to miss a chance to hang out with them, so you are ready to sacrifice. Sacrificing your plans to fulfill theirs isn’t a healthy sign in the long term.
Pro Tip: However, if you really want to chase & achieve that person, I recommend you do it. This has personally worked for me and might work for you as well. But remember not to overdo it; it is only recommended at the start of the relationship.
Love, on the other side, is built on trust and mutual respect. When you love someone, you will never feel pressured into making decisions. Your partner will value your commitments as you value theirs. It’s like a mutual understanding or a virtual agreement between the two of you. And you won’t feel as though you have sacrificed yourself to keep their interest.
Are you attracted to other people simultaneously?
If you are attracted to other people while you like someone, then it’s a crush. You can have multiple crushes simultaneously (with varying intensity). As we have discussed earlier, a crush is rooted in a particular attribute of a human being, that can be physical appearance, career, or anything else.
Love is completely different from a crush. While you can have multiple crushes simultaneously, you can’t love multiple people simultaneously. While in love, your mind won’t even let you notice if someone else is looking at you, no matter how attractive they might be.
Is your relationship based solely on physical attraction & appearance?
If you are attracted to their outer beauty or appearances, then it is your crush. Such emotions do not last long. They disappear as soon as the attribute that attracted you in the first place disappears.
Crush is more about feeling appealing and being drawn to the individual. You may have a crush if you feel awkward around people because you’re not dressed right.
Love goes far beyond physical attraction and appearances. If you are in love with someone, then looks and appearances are secondary to you; what matters is the soul connection.
Do you argue and fight over small things?
Every relationship has disagreements; however, do you find yourself arguing about the small things? It is more likely that this will occur when you have a crush or infatuation. Infatuations give you a false sense that you can control another person, and you may feel upset when the other person does not live up to your expectations.
When you fall in love, you love them for what they are and appreciate them, even if they differ from you. You may have differences, but they aren’t unkind. You tend to sort the differences by having a conversation.
Do You Hold Grudges?
When your partner makes a mistake, do you feel compelled to correct them immediately? This is a sign of you having a crush on them.
When you love someone, you are willing to overlook mistakes and forgive them. You understand that everyone makes errors, and mistakes happen. Love allows for understanding and forgiveness so you can move forward together.
Is your relationship based on attraction or friendship?
A crush is based on desire and lust. You might not have similar interests but desire the same thing and want to be together.
When you love someone, the focus is on companionship. Two people who love one another share common interests; no matter what they do, they work together because they value each other’s needs.
Do you place the object of your love on a pedestal?
Another great factor to consider when determining if you’re having a crush or falling in love is to decide whether or not you’re putting the person on an unrealistic pedestal. Are you constantly comparing them to others? Do they make you feel like you can do no wrong in their presence?
When you fall in love, you don’t really think in those terms; you just love the person for who they are, the good and the not-so-good alike. It’s more about feeling emotionally safe with them than perfection.
Quick Signs of Crushes and Infatuation:
- Feelings come on quickly
- Based on physical appearance & attraction
- Crushes can result in stalking, extreme jealousy, and obsessive behavior
- Shallow with no real deep feelings
- Immature & sees perfection
- You get consumed by their thoughts, and you try to change for them
- Multiple crushes at the same time
Quick Signs of love:
- It takes time to develop the feeling
- Last longer
- You accept them as they are with all their flaws
- Their happiness is important
- Love is your safe & comfort zone
- You can love one person at a time
Comparison Chart : Cursh vs Love
|Meaning||Attration towards other person||Deep feeling of affection & care|
|Time||Crushes are instant||Love takes time to develop|
|Energy levels||Consumes your energy||Boost your energy|
|Number||Multiples crushes at a time||You can love only one person at a time|
|Based On||Phyical appearance, job, money, etc||Affection, care, bond, etc|
|Dept of emotions||Shallow||Deep|
|Attributes||Selfish, possessive, looks for perfection, immature, intense||Selfless, understanding, tolerant, looks for good, mature, natural|
What did you learn from this article? Can you articulate the difference between love vs attraction?
The initial feelings of love and crush or attraction are very similar. The excitement of being attracted to someone is experienced in both situations—however, the difference between the two lies in what comes after the initial attraction. With love, there are thoughts about the future and realistic expectations of one another.
What are your thoughts about crushes and infatuations? Do you think they can turn into something more serious? Have you ever had an experience where you thought it was love, only to find out later that it wasn’t?
What is the meaning of crush in love?
Well, crush and love are two distinct feelings altogether. A crush is an intense, short-lived emotional sentiment mostly due to the other person’s physical appearance. In contrast, love is a deep emotional feeling that takes time to grow and is not something that happens overnight. It requires patience, understanding, compromise, and hard work to succeed.
Can I fall in love with my crush?
Yes! It is absolutely possible to fall in love with your crush. But for that, you need to put effort so that the other person equally falls for you. Once you fall in love with them, your emotional state will change to match that of being in love. Do you remember the points we discussed in the article? Notice your behavior and how it changes once you start loving them. Also, let us know how you felt about the change in a comment.
How long does a crush continue before it is replaced with love? / when does a crush become love?
There is no definite time period before your crush becomes your love. It totally depends on the individual relationship. When you start to see some signs of love, as discussed above, you can consider it as the beginning of the love phase in your relationship.
Is having feelings for someone the same as love?
No, both are separate things. Feeling, in general, can mean anything. You can have romantic or sexual feelings towards someone without being in love. Whereas love, in particular, is a much deeper emotional state of being.
What are the similarities between crush and love?
Both have an emotional state of being between persons of the opposite gender (exceptions can exist). Both the feelings can give the adrenaline rush & make you feel high. Crush and love are the best things to happen to us humans.