While it can be intimidating to stray from societal norms, practicing consensual non-monogamy — maybe with a throuple relationship (in a threesome relationship) — can be fulfilling, liberating, fun, and rewarding, especially when done with intention and care.
No matter where you fall on the spectrum of monogamous relationships, there are plenty of reasons to try out consensual non-monogamy.
Maybe you’re tired of feeling guilty about cheating on your partner, or you’ve had enough of being emotionally tied down. Or perhaps you’d love to explore new sexualities with someone who shares your values.
Whatever the reason, if you’re interested in exploring alternative forms of intimacy, then you may find that having multiple partners opens up a whole world of possibilities.
Below, we explain how threesomes work, how they relate to polygamy, what it feels like being in a throuple relationship, and tips on how to make it last.
Table of Contents
Definition of Throuple:
Throuple, as you’ve no doubt guessed, is a combination of “three” and “couple.” The term refers to three individuals linked together in some way by a romance or sexual relationship, or both. Other words for throuples include trio, three-way relationship, or closed triad.
Are there any rules about being in a throuples?
Let’s put it this way: There isn’t a standardized throuple (three-person) rulebook. Just like any relationship, the design and parameters are determined by those involved. So, it’s up to you and your partner(s) to decide the rules.
Here are just a few examples of what it might look like:
• Two people date the same person but do not date each other.
• A married couple introduces a third person to their relationship.
• All three people agree on a “closed” relationship in which they exclusively date each other.
• Three people enter a committed relationship while also dating, having sex with, or participating in relationships with persons outside their throuple.
People of all genders and sexual preferences participate in triples. Some people may also have different romantic attractions, meaning they might have romantic feelings for someone in their triad but not necessarily sexually attracted to them. This can also go the opposite direction.
Despite the common assumption, just simply because it’s an intimate threesome doesn’t imply that everyone is having sex. Everyone has physical limitations, so no one should feel pressured into doing something they aren’t comfortable with.
Difference between a throuple and polyamory:
Polyamory is an umbrella term used to describe multiple loving relationships. A throuple is one such type of relationship where three people are involved in romantic or sexual relationships or both.
In short – throuple refers to a partnership involving three persons. Polyamorous relationships can involve any number of partners.
However, polyamory doesn’t necessarily mean having sex with multiple partners; it means being open about your desires and exploring new ways of relating.
How is throuple different from living relationship?
Like any other relationship, a living relationship is between two unmarried people living together. In comparison, a throuple is a relationship between three people without concern for marriage. In short, a living relationship deals with the concept of marriage & if you and your partner are living together before marriage, then it is called a living relationship.
What’s a unicorn?
Many people use the word “unicorn” to describe a woman who joins a straight couple. Often, those couples are referred to as “unicorn hunters.” While unicorn hunting isn’t necessarily unethical, it’s gotten a bad name for being deceptive and predatory – especially if you’re not paying attention to what you’re doing.
What exactly is a Throuple Relationship?
A throuple is a romantic partnership between three persons, as you might expect. A throuple is a balanced, consensual, and committed partnership that is not to be confused with an open relationship (in which persons in a relationship have sex with people who are not their partner) or a threesome (sex between three people).
In this case, the term “throuple” would mean that these three individuals are together in a loving, committed relationship.
Few points to keep in mind regarding the Throuple (Triad):
A throuple isn’t the same as an open relationship:
Throuple is: A balanced, consensual, and mutually committed relationship between three people.
Throuple is Not: An opportunity to have an intimate relationship with two people and have sex with them simultaneously. A three-way, or simply sex between three people
A throuple does not have any “formula,” aside from involving three people:
Throuples can be made of people of any gender identification and any sexual orientation who choose to be together.
Most of the throuples involve a married couple or two individuals who chose to add a third person – typically a man and woman who brought in another woman. Some considered themselves straight; others called themselves bisexual.
A throuple has legitimate benefits:
A throuple can be beneficial. When you have a third party involved, chances are you’ll expose yourself and your original partners to qualities they might not otherwise get.
Having someone else around can help smooth things out if disagreements arise between the two of you. Also, having another person around means you won’t feel left out if one of them gets into something with the other.
You can also serve as a kind of buffer or mediator when arguments break out between the two of you because you know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of those kinds of fights.
Finally, a third person can really bring out the best in everyone involved. They can allow you and your partner to show off your best side and vice versa. That could mean everything from being able to spend more quality time with each other to actually getting along better.
Throuple-hood might make the relationship a little more challenging:
The dynamics within a throuple can vary dramatically from a traditional duo. First, there’s the jealousy factor — more on that later — a potential side effect of being in a triad if one partner feels like they’re not getting enough attention or commitment.
The best way to avoid that is to have everyone voice what they need and want early on before things get too serious, says Spector. And if something changes, be open about it.
Second, when it comes to conflicts, having another person around means there’s room for taking sides — a bad habit that could break your partnership, according to Spector.
Few ways to smoothen things out:
1. Be clear about what you want
2. Speak up if your feelings change
3. Don’t hide your feelings
A throuple relationship can be completely healthy and balanced:
Entering throuple-hood can boost your romantic life if everyone shares similar interests, attitudes, and aspirations, but make sure you can handle your current relationship before bringing in a third person.
Knowing the boundaries of the throuple is important:
Knowing the boundaries of your relationship is important. It really depends on your triad and how you would like to set up the relationship rules.
You might want to sit down with each other and spend a few hours hammering together what might be relationship agreements. Sometimes triads will have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy where they don’t want to know what the others do. But what is often healthier is having relationship agreements open & transparent, and there’s communication among all members of the triadic.
Throuples, just like couples, can also develop naturally:
Throuples, just like couples, can develop naturally. People who are interested in throuple relationships often start as friends or acquaintances. They may not know if they are compatible yet, but they do know they enjoy spending time together. Once they feel comfortable enough to make an explicit commitment, they might choose to get engaged.
Jealousy can crop up in any relationship, whether monogamous or not:
Jealousy can be an issue in any relationship, whether it’s monogamous or not. In a monogamous relationship, jealousy doesn’t typically come into play unless one partner feels they’re being cheated on. However, if your partner cheats on you, you may feel jealous.
In an ethical non-monogamous relationship, jealousy should be addressed openly and honestly. You might consider talking to your partners about how you each handle jealousy.
Throuples can form a hierarchy:
Every throuple is different, but it’s also possible that two people may see themselves as being in the primary relationship, while another sees themself as forming secondary relationships with those people.
For example, an already-established couple who invites someone else into their throuple. That does not necessarily mean that everyone involved considers their relationship to be primary.
Throuples need to decide the expectations from their relationship in advance:
Being in a throuple does not automatically mean you will only date whoever you choose whenever you wish. Many different relationship structures fall within the umbrella of non-monogamy. Fostering self-awareness around which format one desires can significantly influence the success of people’s relationships.
Here are the most crucial things to understand about throuples:
- A throuple relationship requires a lot of communication, trust, and honesty to last in the long run.
- Not every throuple configuration works out, so just try to find someone who you connect with on an emotional level before jumping into bed with them.
- Do not stalk or hunt down unicorns. Just look for people you could date and treat them like humans instead of ticking items off your bucket list.
Conclusion: What Is a Throuple?
Whether you’re monogamous or polyamory, relationships take a lot of work. Triangles aren’t inherently more work than any relationship type, but communication becomes essential in these arrangements. It takes mutual respect & understanding to out such a non-monogamous relationship. Are you in one such relationship?
If you are in a polyamorous relationship then do let us know your experiences in the comment section.
If you are a couple & you are dealing with a third person in your relationship, then you can read this guide.